“When
everything goes fine, put a small stone in your shoe
.” – says an old Bosnian
proverb, I have heard so many times in my childhood. I remember thinking about
it, but never understanding the logic of voluntarily being uncomfortable.

Later,
in Norway, I met something similar: “Du må yte, før du skal nyte.” Again, no
logic for a young mind.

I
had enough to struggle with and many things to achieve that demanded an effort
– why should I wish for uncomfort!?

After
a while, my life became quite settled and comfortable – I have achieved my goal!

So,
what do you do when all your dreams come true?

I
was happy. I was enjoying. Then I started to feel restless, maybe bored too.

I
needed to find new dreams. And pursue them. I needed to leave my comfortable
life and struggle again.

It
has been hard and scary, but most of all rejuvenating
– like being born again. Somewhere on the way I understood why conformism we
all indulge in, is so dangerous. Why I should always put that small stone in my
shoe.

Being
too comfortable is diminishing your RESILIENCE – the
ability to re-invent yourself and quickly bounce back no matter what.

And if there is anything
certain in life, it is the fact that unexpected change or misfortune will
occur!

What
is resilience?

Resilience is developed
under pressure: “if something does not
break you, it makes you stronger.”
Under pressure we mobilize all our
resources and follow our intuition. We engage, we put effort, we fight back. We
learn, we master and even if we do not achieve what we want, we become smarter,
better and stronger. And that makes us content!!!

Resilience is about readiness
and agility.

READINESS – being ready
for whatever might happen:

Unexpected change or misfortune
does not mean one cannot make any preparations.

1. Feel the
change in the air,
have your sensory system on and listen to your intuition.

2.
Buffer up
for unexpected situations and expenses.

3.
Invest in genuine relationships and collaborate. By sharing in good fortune, by
creating opportunities for everybody, you nurture the social capital that will
become critically valuable if you ever need it.

AGILITY
– responding quickly and sharply in any situation:

We can train up our response ability, so that we can follow the intuition and
not only our instincts.

1. Never waste a good crisis. A setback gives you an opportunity to reframe,
to change, to meet your fears and grow. The best thing with a crisis is that
you must act immediately. It means mobilizing your resources and experiences.
That is how we learn to trust our gut-feeling.

2. Be smooth. Resilience
is about high degree of flexibility, elegance and grace, but also precision,
quick adjustments and focus. It is like a dancer and boxer in one.

3. Give away a little now to take up a stronger position in a future.
The essence of resilience is to put short-term considerations within
longer-term contexts.

It is a mindset of being
sound and solid. Practicing resilience and reducing conformism is not only applicable
on personal level, but also for a family, group, organization or even nation.


Now I have my “small
stones” to put in a shoe. Because for me, there is such a beauty in
a struggle while pursuing a vision of my dream!

Oslo/Amela Koluder